Looking Back: WWF Superstars January 1993 Reviews

I recently had a request from a follower of Hot Tag Wrestling to review an episode of WWF Superstars from January 16 1993. I was more than happy to oblige his request. But I decided to take it one step further! There are five episodes of WWF Superstars from January 1993 on the WWE Network. And with the weather being extremely crappy the last few days, I took the time to go through all of them!

WWF Superstars January 2 1993

-We’ve got Macho Man Randy Savage, Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon in the announce booth. This should go well.

Mr. Perfect vs The Berzerker

How did Jack Tunney still allow Berzerker to walk around with his sword after he almost killed the Undertaker with it. Maybe Jack Tunney wasn’t as good of a President as we thought he was. Mr. Perfect misses a charge and hits the post. Berzerker then gets his sword, AND TRIES TO BEHEAD MR. PERFECT WITH IT. Thankfully Mr. Perfect misses. He sends Berzerker to the outside and out comes Ric Flair. Flair’s distractions don’t work as Perfect fights Berzerker off. Berzerker finally knocks him out of the ring. Back from break, Mr. Perfect quickly hits the Perfect Plex for the win.

ICOPRO brings us a studio update. Have we tried using ICOPRO to combat the Coronavirus? Bobby Heenan hypes up the Narcissist. This was Heenan’s low point with WWF. His intro of him at the 93 Rumble is really weird.

Yokozuna squashes a poor guy named George Anderson. I remember as a kid I thought Yokozuna had toy boxes in his trunks.

Sean Mooney is in the Event Center. We hear from Tatanka and Bob Backlund about the Royal Rumble. Man Backlund is not good at this promo thing.

Marty Jannetty beats Tom Stone. Oh look, out comes Doink the Clown during the match. Heel Doink the Clown was awesome. Matt Osborne played the evil heel clown character to perfection. After the match Doink pretends like he is going to douse Jannetty in water, but there is no water in the bucket!

Ah yes, Damien Damento. From the outer reaches of your mind. He takes on Matt Bishop. Damento won with a knee to the chest. The crowd was asleep for it just like I was. Lawler is convinced the voice Damento is listening to is Doink the Clown, and he proves it on his Magistrator.

Mean Gene runs down the Royal Rumble card.

Crush beats Dave Sigfrids. Crush had a pretty awesome theme song. I remember being a big Crush fan when I was a kid. I still do the Shaka Brah symbol to this day as an all good. Doink is back! He sprays some poor woman with water. Lawler says it looks like she needed a shower anyways. Crush grabs Doink and gives him the business after he threw a ball into the crowd.

Another rundown of the Royal Rumble at the Events Center.

Crush is interviewed. His grandpa used to be a clown so he knows the good ones! Crush says he wants Doink to take his advise and stop picking on the kids brah.

January 9 1993

We start with a clip from Wrestling Challenge with Reverend Slick trying to convert Kamala to a face. Slick knows Kamala is a man and gets the crowd to start a “You are a man” chant.

Before Kamala’s match, Kimchee pushes Kamala around and tells him what to do. Kamala squashes Todd Becker. He wins with the splash and is still confused on how to pin him. Kimchee and Harvey Whippleman push Kamala around after the match. Reverend Slick comes out to get them away. Kimchee punches Slick. Kamala knocks Kimchee to the outside then chases away Whippleman.

We see the clip from Mania where Razor Ramon attacks Owen Hart during an interview. Looking back on this now, it makes Owen look stupid because he would clearly have to see Razor Ramon coming right at him.

The Steiner Brothers win a squash match. The poor jobbers that had to take that Frankensteiner from Scott.

Another update from the Events Center.

Lance Cassidy beats George Petrovsky. This Lance Cassidy gets an entrance and everything. I have no recollection of this guy. A quick google search shows Lance is Steve Armstrong of the Armstrong wrestling family. Petrovsky looks like a deer in headlights when introduced.

Doink is interviewed. He says he likes taking the smiles off people’s faces. He then sprays Raymond Rougeau with water from his flower.

The Undertaker beats poor Scott Zappa. Undertaker is dripping wet from his hair coming down the aisle.

After another Event Center rundown, Bam Bam Bigelow beats Red Tyler. Tyler is super tan until you get to his face, which is pale white. It’s kind of funny. Bam Bam wins quickly with the top rope headbutt.

The Event Center previews the Rumble with promos once more as we sign off.

January 16 1993

The show starts with Bret Hart cutting a promo on Razor Ramon for attacking Owen last week.

Razor Ramon then beats Buck Zumhofe in a squash. If you don’t know who Buck Zumhofe is look him up. He was an AWA mainstay. But he was also a pretty shitty human being. He’s currently sitting in prison. Razor wins with the Razor’s Edge in under 2 minutes.

Mean Gene recaps Kamala’s face turn from last week in the Update Center. Reverend Slick says he will help Kamala see the light just like he did. And he wants the people to embrace him as well. This leads to some funny vignettes down the line. Harvey Whippleman says the WWF won’t be the same after he drops “the big bomb.” I think most of us know what this leads to.

We get another great theme as the Nasty Boys come out. The Nasty’s are into the final months of their WWF run here. They win a quick squash here. Doink is out during the match with his arm in a sling. Important to remember that for later.

Shawn Michaels is interviewed by Raymond Rougeau. Michaels asks why Sensational Sherri would be in the corner of a man who brutally hit her with a mirror. Of course we all know Michaels pulled Sherri in front of him. But he’s a heel! Shawn knows Sherri will be in his corner and says everyone knows Michaels carried their team, and at the Rumble Jannetty will be carried for the last time, out of the building.

The theme of this week’s Superstars is great theme music as Crush comes out to fight W.T. Jones. Doink makes his way down to the ring. Crush makes quick work of W.T. Jones. But the important stuff is what happens after. Doink wants to be friends with Crush and offers a flower to Crush. Crush takes it and gives it to a kid. Doink then takes his arm off and attacks Crush with it. I remember this angle from a kid. I was so scared for Crush when it happened. Crush is out cold as EMTs come for Crush.

We get another Events Center rundown of the Rumble. After they are still trying to get Crush’s neck right. Like seriously, just get him in the ambulance already! How long does it take to get a neckbrace on?

Yokozuna wins a quick squash. Why do these jobbers run right at him after the bell? This guy eats a superkick. Maybe the Bucks saw Yokozuna do these superkicks and stole the idea from him.

THEY ARE STILL WORKING ON CRUSH ON THE STRETCHER?? GET HIM ON THE AMBULANCE ALREADY.

During the Events Center Update we finally cut back to Crush being taken out of and put in an ambulance. In 1993 people bought this heavily with McMahon and Lawler talking about possible paralysis. When the heel announcer gets serious about it, in 1993, you are taking it seriously.

Tatanka beats Tom Bennett. Bennett for some reason is wearing an oversized sweater when introduced. I’m pretty sure it is a woman’s sweater too. Tatanka had an undefeated streak going for awhile here, and it would go for a few more months.

We end the show with more Rumble promos and a recap of Doink’s attack on Crush.

January 23 1993

We get told Crush won’t be participating in the Royal Rumble due to a severe concussion. I wonder if that took as long to diagnose as it did to get him in the ambulance.

The Undertaker makes quick work of David Selguero. The Undertaker must have started jumping during Tombstones around this time. Good thing he stopped or his knees would have been shot a lot earlier.

Mean Gene tells us in the update that rewatching Crush’s attack may not be for the weak of stomach. Just wait until you see the attacks in a few years Gene.

Marty Jannetty beat a jobber quicker than The Undertaker.

Events Center Update for the Rumble. I’m glad the next show is after the Rumble. I can’t see the same promos over and over again.

Oh no a Papa Shango match. Full disclosure. I was TERRIFIED of Papa Shango as a kid. He makes quick work of Rudy Gonzales.

Bret Hart comes out for a promo but is interrupted almost immediately on the video screen by Razor Ramon. Razor says squashing Owen like a cockroach was fun and if he sees Bret’s dad on the street he might slap him too. Razor says he wants a piece of Bret. Bret says lets do it right now but Razor says no one tells him what to do. Bret says he takes pride in being Champion and this Sunday he is going to kick Razor’s butt. Yeah Brett was never a strong promo in this time frame.

Bam Bam Bigelow disposes of Gary Jackson.

Did I tell you yet I’m getting sick of these Rumble promos?

Kamala defeats David Wolfe. Kamala is with Rev. Slick now. I wonder if these fans knew by this point Kamala was face? It doesn’t look like it from looking at the crowd. Rev. Slick gets the crowd to help tell Kamala to turn him over.

We get Bobby Heenan hyping up Narcissist once more and the last Rumble promos before Sunday’s show.

January 30 1993

We get some still shots from the Royal Rumble. Vince, Savage and Lawler then talk about Giant Gonzalez and Savage has the hots for Cleopatra from last night.

The Headshrinkers and Afa come out. Afa is eating on a RAW fish. That could be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on WWE ever. They dominate a squash match. I can’t concentrate on it because of that damn fish.

Bret Hart says he is still going to be a fighting Champion and only worry about Yokozuna when Wrestlemania gets closer. Not sure that’s the best strategy Bret.

Damien Damento makes quick work of Tommy Knight. Even the piped in boos don’t seem to care.

Macho Man wants you to join the WWF Fan Club. You can get a cassette with all your favorite wrestler’s themes!

Mr. Perfect is here after just sending Ric Flair packing on RAW. And hey I recognize the jobber! It’s Louie Spicolli. We get a Narcissist promo that is your below average Lex Luger promo as Mr. Perfect wins with a Perfect Plex.

We get some Event Center promos from Money Inc. and Rev. Slick

Shawn Michaels beats Gary Johnson. Johnson actually gets some offense in. Sensational Sherri says Marty Jannetty was the only man to come to her aid at the Rumble. Jannetty is gone before the planned Wrestlemania rematch and Sherri is instead in the corner of Tatanka.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan promo. He challenges “Yokozuma” to a match and isn’t afraid that no one has taken Duggan off his feet yet.

High Energy wins a tag match against the Brooklyn Brawler and a jobber. I thought Koko B. Ware was gone by this point but I guess I was wrong.

We get highlights of Giant Gonzalez taking out the Royal Rumble from the Royal Rumble.

Bob Backlund is back. And he is doing that weird dance he does as a face during this time throughout the whole match. Lawler says Backlund could use a personality transplant and that is coming soon. Backlund obviously wins the match.

Razor Ramon beats Pete Christie. The guy looks like Axl Rose in a wrestling singlet.

Virgil cuts a promo challenging Bam Bam Bigelow. Bam Bam says he is going to become the next WWF Champion in 1993. Sure thing Bam Bam. I guess he doesn’t care about Virgil.

Mr. Fuji accepts Jim Duggan’s challenge for next week. And we are signed off.

Hope you had fun reading. It’s tough to add comments on jobber matches, so I threw in my own sarcasm to make it a bit better!

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka