Justin C Watches WCW Uncensored 95
So I skipped Superbrawl 95. In all honesty, it’s just a boring show. Nothing crazy like this one. Here we have Uncensored 95. This was WCW’s attempt to be a little like ECW. The problem is that it is nothing like it. It has some of the worst matches you will ever see on it. And I’m here to watch it during this Coronavirus pandemic for your entertainment.
King of the Road Match: Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes
So here’s the story of this match: This was filmed the day before. And both men bled during the match, which was a no-no at this time in WCW. So they had to use a bunch of aerial shots to hide the blood. It was still visible at times during the match. Both men were fired after the match. Dustin wouldn’t comeback and would go on to become Goldust. So they are wrestling in the back of an 18 wheeler with hay barrels inside. How has Vince McMahon never done a match like this yet? The only thing that makes this match worth it are the Bobby Heenan one liners:
“There’s a good look at downtown Tupelo. Did you see that skyscraper? Two stories!”
As they drive by a trailer park: “Some of the premiere condos in Tupelo.”
They actually filmed this in the outskirts of Atlanta. But whatever. Blacktop Bully wins by blowing the horn on the truck.
Marital Arts Match: Meng vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Oh boy this should be fun. Sonny Onoo is the referee. Duggan comes out in jeans and American flag knee pads. Babyface Jim Duggan refuses to bow to Meng to start the match. I’m not sure why this is a Martial Arts Match, because this looks exactly like a normal wrestling match. Duggan tries a headbutt and instead sells it, because we all know Meng has a head of steel. I don’t need to try it to believe it. This match is full of a bunch of no selling. I don’t know why Duggan always felt the need to no sell. Meng wins with a superkick.
Boxer vs Wrestler: Johnny B. Badd vs Arn Anderson
So this match can end by pinfall, submission, or a 10 second KO. Badd is wearing boxer gloves while Arn is wearing his normal ring gear. They say it is scheduled for ten 3 minute rounds. We can only hope it doesn’t go that long. Arn leaves the ring a minute in. So I guess this is more of a wrestling than boxing match. I’ll give Badd this much. At least he throws some good worked punches. At the end of the 2nd round, Arn DDTs Badd then attacks him before the start of the 3rd. You know why? Because Arn is a genius and says IT’S NO DISQUALIFICATION. He’s right. During the round Arn throws Badd into a chair. Arn attacks in between rounds again, so Badd puts his spit bucket over the head of Arn and KOs him. Hey, that was actually a fun finish and the crowd loved it. I’ll give them credit there.
Macho Man gives an interview. He threatens to knockout Mike Tenay.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Avalanche
Savage attacks Avalanche getting into the ring. Because why the hell not? It’s no DQ! Heenan says if an Avalanche hits this town they’d probably get $18 or $22 bucks. Heenan’s worried about all the four wheeled homes that would get flipped. What a nice guy. Savage takes Avalanche out with a crossbody off the top. There are very few better visuals in wrestling than Randy Savage coming off the top rope. But then Savage goes for a bodyslam in the ring and it fails. Now it is time for Avalanche to slow down the match. John Tenta was a well liked guy in the wrestling business but man are his matches tough to watch when they go long. They go to the outside and some lady jumps the guardrail and attacks Savage. Tony Schiavnone: “Some lady has gone bezerk!” Avalanche hits a splash, then Hogan makes the save. And now Nick Patrick says Savage wins by DQ. Wait, WASN’T THIS WHOLE SHOW NO DQ??
Big Bubba Rogers vs Sting
A couple of good themes here. Rogers has a nice guitar riff to it. And of course if you don’t like the classic “Man Called Sting” theme then you can just get the hell out. Sting is control early on. He grabs Bubba’s hat and puts it on, then throws his jacket over his head. Bubba gets Sting to chase him and then goes for a leapfrog and Bubba hits Sting’s knee. Not sure if that was a botch or not. It works for the match either way. Bubba starts working over his leg. At least Bubba moves a bit faster than Avalanche in the heat portion of this match. The problem is it is too long. Then Bubba goes to the top, and just falls down? I have no idea what just happened. Maybe Sting was suppose to hit the ropes? This match is super clunky and has a lot of weird spots in it. Bubba goes for a splash and misses. Sting goes to lift Bubba but he collapses and Bubba gets the win. See, Savage is a Hogan guy so he can’t lose and Avalanche can’t lose clean. But Sting? Yeah he can get pinned.
Tornado Tag Falls Count Anywhere Match: Harlem Heat w/Sensational Sherri (c) vs The Nasty Boys
Ok I remember this match. Sherri comes out with no Harlem Heat. Sherri goes to the aisle way, and because the Nasty Boys are faces, they are distracted by that and Harlem Heat attacks from behind. The action goes to the outside, then Sherri gets pulled into the ring and gets the Pit Stain from both Nastys. They go to a setup fake concession stand and brawl. We’ve got cotton candy, lemonade. Tony is happy they haven’t gotten to the funnel cakes yet. So here’s the problem: They spilled a bunch of lemonade on a concrete floor and these guys and Sherri are slipping all over. The Nastys throw mustard everywhere. Booker throws Knobbs into the funnel cakes stand and Tony weeps. Booker does it again and the stand collapses. Heenan says that was probably someone’s house in Tupelo. Knobbs goes for a pin, and the camera completely misses it as Stevie Ray and Sags brawl. We then hear a bell. I guess that means the Nastys won. I guess it was non Title too.
Vader cuts a classic Vader promo. Flair comes in still wearing eye liner, lipstick and finger nail paint.
Strap Match for the WCW Title: Hulk Hogan (c) vs Vader w/Ric Flair
So in the build up to this match, Hogan kept saying he had an ultimate surprise. So naturally everyone thought this was the Ultimate Warrior. But it wasn’t. So before the PPV they revealed it to be the Renegade so people ween’t pissed about possibly buying the show and not seeing Warrior. Jimmy Hart is also missing. Vader was shown in the preshow with Hart’s jacket. Buffer still says the King of “Hulkmania.” How has no one fucking corrected him yet?
Flair and Vader corner Hogan until Renegade comes out. I think about 30% of the audience still thought it was Warrior. He’s dressed and acts exactly like him. Somehow he would end up being a worse wrestler. Vader loses his match about two minutes in. Or has the match even started yet? I never heard a bell and I don’t see a referee. Renegade is chasing and stalking Flair outside the ring. Renegade attacks him and chases him to the back. Oh wait nevermind they are back. But there is still no referee. Vader hits a Vader Bomb and then chokes him out. Suddenly Jimmy Hart escapes from wherever he was. Oh the strap came off of Hogan too. Vader asks the crowd if this is their Champion. No Vader, you are my Champion. Vader drops the chair to go after Jimmy Hart. So Hogan grabs it and uses it. As Vader and Hogan brawl outside, Flair is forced to flop around in the ring for Renegade.
This match is a classic Hogan overbooked mess. Apparently touching the post on the outside counts too. Schiavone FINALLY tells us about 15 minutes in there is no referee because WCW is wiping its hands of this. Hogan hulks up and hits 3 posts before before a masked man comes out and takes out Renegade, then Flair hits Hogan with a chair. Vader gets 3 corners, but Flair stops him and wants Vader to splash Hogan before the 4th. Hogan moves. Flair pulls Vader out of the ring. Flair hits Hogan with a chair. Hogan hulks up. Hogan boots Flair. Hogan then straps himself to Flair and hits the four posts for the win. WTF? What a mess. Hogan and Renegade square off with Flair and Vader. A masked man comes out. Arn Anderson comes out tied up. Savage is that masked man and attacks Flair and Vader. I’m exhausted just typing all of this out.
I don’t think I’ve seen a worse main event in my life. This show sucked.
Until Next Time,
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