AEW Dynamite Recap 12.18.19 w/Heather

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AFTER A VERY LONG HIATUS I AM BACK!  To give some barely coherent thoughts on AEW’s very last show of 2019.  It has been a HUGE year for this company, and while I’m often critical I couldn’t be happier to have this competition to WWE that will undoubtedly keep getting better.  I can’t wait for the new year and how they’ll continue to evolve.  LET’S GO!

Lucha Bros vs Kenny Omega & Hangman Page

The show kicks off with Lucha Bros and Hangman Page and Kenny Omega already in the ring ready to go.  The crowd is certainly ready for this match as they get to do their very favorite thing and chant stupid catch phrases.  Okay, okay, Cero Miedo is pretty cool, but don’t ask me to chant Cowboy shit even if I do have a soft spot in my heart for Hangman Page.   I…don’t know.  I think all of these wrestlers are insanely talented but there was something very slow about this match.  At one point Fenix took Page out of the match, but the cameras didn’t catch it so he was just gone and the confusion from Jim Ross matched my own really.  I found the pace of this match to be very slow which is unusual for wrestlers who usually compete at a faster pace.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy methodical wrestling, but this was more like 4 really talented guys just walking into each others moves.  Maybe it was the commentary throwing me off, or maybe it was supposed to feel disjointed because Page and Omega aren’t usually a tag team.  Any way you slice it it, it was a match that happened that seemed to serve only to set up the eventual Hangman Page/Kenny Omega feud.

It ended when Page hit Kenny with the buckshot lariat on accident and Pentagon caught Kenny with the package piledriver.

After the match there was the beginnings of a fight between Kenny and Page but it was quickly interrupted by a backstage video of PAC telling Kenny he was waiting for an answer about their rubber match.  Because he hasn’t gotten an answer he decided to sneak into a room where Michael Nakazawa was oblivious to his presence.  The door closed, Kenny fled only to find nobody there and then he got jumped by Lucha Bros and was saved by Page.  This whole thing is confusing, there are just too many things we’re supposed to follow at a time.  Maybe it helps the idea that “ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!”

Cody & Darby Allin vs Butcher & the Blade (with the Bunny)

We go right into Cody and Darby Allin vs Butcher & the Blade after the break.  As I know Justin has pointed out, they’re from our local Indy and it’s nice to see them getting a break on National TV.  I know Pepper Parks was in TNA but, well, I didn’t watch that.  This was another match that just seemed like kind of a mess.  Maybe I’m not in the right mindset to be watching this, but it was just sloppy.  At one point Cody and Darby both dove to the outside and Darby hit his head on the ropes meaning he just kind of tumbled out, and the Butcher did a terrible job catching Cody.  There weren’t really any standout moments, and while it would have been really easy to give the win to Butcher Blade and Bunny here, Cody and Darby won.  I mean, alright.  I know Cody can’t lose all the time, especially since they’re touting wins and losses matter, but really as far as I can tell in this company so far, you can instantly return yourself to contendership for titles by winning one big match.  So Cody could have eaten a pin here or even cost Darby somehow.  The problem I guess would be that this was exactly how the previous match ended.  Maybe the solution is don’t have two thrown together tag team matches back to back on the same show.

Awesome Kong defeats Miranda Alize with Implant Buster

Next, Awesome Kong is up.  There’s a Brandi vignette before the match starts where she says she believes Kris Statlander will join the Nightmare Collective after tonight and keeps her bald male minion from showing his face.  She squashes Miranda Alize and takes a lock of her pretty red hair.

Chris Jericho and Jungle Boy fight to 10 Minute Draw

JR can’t seem to get his name right so I’m not sure if Chris Jericho is fighting Jungle Boy, Jungle Jack, Jumpin Jack Flash or what but I DO KNOW he’s Luke Perry’s son and therefore I love him.

Chris Jericho is probably a total asshole in real life and kind of a scumbag, but damn does he make wrestling fun.  I truly believe he loves pro wrestling and understands it’s important to put people over.  I know that could be doubted by people because he’s champ but I still think making him champ brings eyes and that brings eyes to the people he works with.  A lesser wrestler wouldn’t even think about giving someone like Jungle Boy a chance to show himself.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s pretty cool what Jericho does.  Except when he beat Naito.  But that’s uh, that’s neither here nor there.  A lot of this match is Jungle Boy running around evading Jericho but there’s also Jake Hager killing Marko Stunt and Luchasaurus carrying him away to safety so that was sweet.  Jungle Boy tries his very best, and actually this is the most entertaining match of the night with Jungle Boy taking Jericho to…well maybe not his limit but at least to the time limit.

Jungle Boy lasts the 10 minutes even if the last minute or so was him locked in the Walls of Jericho and about 3 minutes was action on the outside with their respective back up.  Still, it was fun.  Jericho declares himself the winner though really he just dropped out of the match at the 10 minute mark.  Tony Schiavone calls him out on this at the top of the ramp, and I have to think Schiavone must be having some great fun with Jericho like in their WCW days.  He really is a great asshole.

Kris Statlander defeats Britt Baker with Big Bang Theory

I’ve been luke warm on Britt Baker since AEW started so I’m hoping to enjoy this one especially since the women’s division has seemed like it’s basically built for her.  I know, I know – she’s not champ – but has any woman aside from Brandi Rhodes been given more air time?  I’m not familiar enough with Kris Statlander which is a me problem, but it seems like with her signing and the signing of Big Swole maybe the women’s division can really evolve into something great.

I was really afraid that they would go with Britt Baker tonight just out of habit like WWE would do, but I’m glad to see that Kris Stat pulled it off.  She’s an impressive wrestler and honestly THIS was the match of the night thus far.  While I find Britt boring, she’s perfectly capable in the ring and Statlander is clearly very good.  I guess she’s…an alien?  She boops people on the nose instead of talking and paints her body but I’m not sure it’s clear enough for someone who’s not familiar with her especially fans in the crowd who are learning about a lot of these new faces.  I might be willing to look her up and figure out what the deal is, but a lot of those fans will not.  Her finisher is good, and she powered into it reversing Baker’s lockjaw into what I guess is called Big Bang Theory.

After the match Schiavone starts an interview but is interrupted by Brandi Rhodes.  Brandi wants to know if Statlander is going to join her, but she waves her finger no and finds Kong and their lackey waiting for her up the ramp.  It’s Brandi who takes her down though with a devastating high heel shot.  This is my favorite moment of the night if only because high heel shots remind me of a simpler WCW time.  RIP Miss Elizabeth and Woman.

SCU defeated Young Bucks for AEW Tag Team Championship (Scorpio Sky with SCU on Matt Jackson)

SCU and Young Bucks are fighting this week because Lucha Bros can’t be in every tag title match apparently.  The crowd loves it as they’re chanting this is awesome within the first five minutes, but my complaints about the Young Bucks stand.  They are incredible athletic, but so much of their stuff really does look choreographed.  I can enjoy a great dance but I want to watch wrestling and not be able to TELL it’s just a choreographed dance.  The Bucks really do seem like they’re always walking into their next big flippy spot.  They’ve got me sounding like god damn Jim Cornette.  It’s really good these teams are buddies and know each other but make it look real! As for SCU I love them.  I just feel like this is how those matches go.  It was also pretty short for a tag title match that ended fairly between two of the top teams in a promotion.  A blind tag threw the Bucks off their game and Scorpio Sky hit the SCU to get the win.

After the match the Bucks and SCU are talking about their Christmas dinner plans I guess when the Dark Order lackeys surround the ring.  Before the teams in the ring even recognize they are being surrounded Stu Grayson and Evil Uno head to the ring.  There’s a lights out gag but really it amounts to nothing.  They say tonight is an initiation for…gosh I am sorry Alex Reynolds and another jobber they let join their group last week?  The creepers attack and SCU and the Bucks are beaten down.  Then Christopher Daniels.  Then Kenny Omega.  Then Cody and Dustin Rhodes.  I’m surprised Cody would help when he said his friends wouldn’t help him.  Hangman Page certainly didn’t help.

The Dark Order would be so much more effective if they hadn’t already had a lame debut in the beginning of AEW TV.  If they had started showing vignettes and having their Dark Order stuff randomly flash during other matches or commercials that would be really effective.  However we’ve already seen them kind of just be shitty.  It doesn’t help their impact by having two people nobody cares about join them.  Obviously a name would help, but you can say that about Brandi’s Nightmare Collective too.  Now I’m someone who enjoys stables but it’s weird to see them forming all over at the same time.

WATCH THIS MATCH:

Jungle Boy vs Chris Jericho

It’s no clinic, but it was fun and I enjoy watching Jericho.  He knows how to try and put someone over even if it’s someone you wouldn’t normally expect him to.  Plus, it’s Luke Perry’s son I’m very easy to please.

SKIP THIS MATCH:

This is hard.  I feel I’m not in the right place to be reviewing a show this week or maybe it really wasn’t great.  It can definitely keep my attention but I was down on a lot of matches this week.  Well.  Okay –

Cody Rhodes & Darby Allin vs Butcher & The Blade

It’s not that it was necessarily the worst match I’ve ever seen, but it definitely was the sloppiest match of the night and I want to love Darby Allin so skip this so you don’t have to question that love like I did.  Also Butcher and the Blade are veeeery boring.

Ah well.  Let’s hope the New Year can get things flowing in a more concrete direction.  I want AEW to succeed and I really do think they’re paying attention when people are criticizing them for things that matter.  Obviously I want them to follow their vision, but I don’t really know what that was outside be a new wrestling promotion and that’s a problem.  I want direction for their titles and their main eventers.  LET’S GOOOO.  ‘

You wanna talk wrestling?  Hit me up over on twitter at HM_pufnstuf.  HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND WHATEVER HOLIDAY YOU CELEBRATE!

 

 

 

 

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