WWE RAW Reunion 7.22.19: Because We Can’t Trust Our Current Guys To Draw
John Cena is out to start the show. He runs down the show. I guess he did a better job than Michael Cole. Cena says this will always be his home and starts getting emotional. He asks for the show to get started and out come The Usos. They want to rap with John Cena. They say Cena is the guy that left them for the movies. Cena says the Usos look just like their mugshots and they laugh. Good to know that the Usos can have a good laugh about their DUI. I don’t even remember which one it was that got it. Rikishi comes out ready to dance. The Revival interrupt and bring out D-Von Dudley. For a second I thought the Revival were about to get buried, but I guess they are fighting the Usos.
Booker T is out on commentary again. Just when I thought the commentary team couldn’t get any worse. So if you have seen these two teams have matches in the past year you know what you are getting. And since it is RAW it is half as good. Dash gets distracted by Rikishi and turns right into an Uso superkick and splash for the win.
Alicia Fox, Dana Brooke, Kaitlyn, Torrie Wilson and Santino are all backstage. Drew McIntyre comes in and scoffs at them.
Drake Maverick pins R-Truth after a distraction by Maverick’s wife. Then The Godfather comes in and dances with Charly.
Drew McIntyre vs Cedric Alexander doesn’t even start. McIntyre goes after Cedric before he gets into the ring. McIntyre eats a Claymore Kick and then an Alabama Slam on the apron.
Drake Maverick finds some worms in his suitcase, and out comes The Boogeyman. Drake falls backwards and hurts his back. So in comes Pat Patterson to pin Drake for the 24/7 Title.
War Raiders vs Ryder and Hawkins. Christian is out on commentary. Vince does not have the blue dot ready for his face. War Raiders win in a squash. Lillian Garcia was ring announcing but they must have cut her mic or something because I didn’t hear announce the winners.
Maria runs down Mike for not getting her lotion for her stretch marks. Eve Torres and Eric Bischoff are talking to him. Ron Simmons then yells DAMN into Jimmy Hart’s megaphone.
AJ and The Club are bragging about being the original Club, throwing shade at Jay White and his club. They throw up the nWo sign so you know they are getting beat down by them later.
Gerald Brisco apparently beat Pat Patterson for the 24/7 Title, then Kelly Kelly pins him and runs off.
Samoa Joe comes out and runs down legends appearing on the show. Joe says we revel to much in nostalgia. Joe has a point. He makes fun of the Usos and Rikishi. Out comes Roman Reigns. Reigns takes forever to get to the ring. Reigns says if he has something to say about his family, say it. Joe said he already did. Joe and Reigns then brawl and Joe works over the shoulder of Reigns and throws him into the barricade. After a beatdown, Reigns catches Joe with a Superman Punch on the apron. Joe says he isn’t fighting for these people and walks away. Roman apologizes and says not all Samoans are cowards. Joe then agrees to a match.
So we end up getting Samoa Joe vs Roman Reigns. It is all Joe to start. Joe hits a nice suicide dive through the ropes to the outside. Joes goes for another one but Reigns hits a modified drive by on the apron. Reigns starts a comeback, Joe goes for the Coqina Clutch but Reigns counters with a Spear for the win. Sorry Joe, looks like your time is up.
Seth Rollins is on MizTV. After getting two straight recap videos of similar events, Rollins makes fun of Paul Heyman and calls Brock a Seth Rollins wannabe. Heyman shows up. Rollins still proclaims Lesnar is a Seth Rollins wannabe because he cashed in his MITB on him, just like Seth did to him. I’m not seeing Seth’s logic here. Rollins runs off Heyman and I’m really tuned out by Rollins here.
Sami Zayn’s turn to run down the legends. Rey Mysterio comes to their defense, then Kurt Angle makes a match between them?
Candice Michelle pins Kelly Kelly with Melina as ref for the 24/7 Title. Alundra Blayze then taps out Candice. Please throw the Title in the trash.
Sami Zayn vs Rey Mysterio. Sami goes to walk off but a bunch of legends come out: Rob Van Dam, Sgt. Slaughter, Kurt Angle, and The Hurricane. Zayn gets back into the ring and loses. They seriously paid RVD to show up in his singlet and do nothing?
Alundra Blayze goes to throw the 24/7 Title in the trash. But Ted DiBiase comes out and buys it from her.
Seth Rollins vs AJ Styles. At one point Corey Graves said Brock Lesnar is watching this match, studying Rollins every move. That’s cute Corey. Do you believe in the Easter Bunny too? Seth gets dumped to the outside as The Club surrounds him but out comes D-X. Wasn’t Triple H an honorary member of the Club like two weeks ago? We get back from commercial and like a minute later Gallows and Anderson jump in and cause a DQ. Styles says D-X is just like them and they go for the two sweet. But HBK and Triple H tell them to suck it and clear the ring. The Club grabs some chairs, but out come Road Dogg, X-Pac, Hall and Nash. The Club leaves. This is all a complete waste of time.
Drake Maverick wins the 24/7 Title back in Ted DiBiase’s limo.
Mick Foley is out there. Out comes Bray Wyatt who attacks him with the Mandible Claw. Hey, a good use of a legend for once.
Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross come out for a Moment of Bliss with Becky Lynch. Natalya immediately comes out and says if Becky has anything to say Becky can say it to her face. They throw insults back and forth until they start throwing fists. After commercial Natty cuts a really awkwardly worded promo with an even worse delivery.
Drake loses the 24/7 Title to R-Truth and Truth leaves in the limo with his wife.
Braun Strowman squashes a jobber. I guess we are back to this again.
Ric Flair comes out and is joined by the rest of the legends. Hulk Hogan gets his own entrance. Hulk Hogan cuts his promo about the Hulkamaniacs. Steve Austin comes out and proposes a toast to the entire RAW Family. We are all part of it. And every legend comes down and toasts with him.
Justin C’s Thoughts
What. A. Waste.
This show ending like it did is the exact sign of what is wrong with today’s WWE. You have the chance to do something MAJOR to get people to tune in next week. And we get nothing. The WWE will try to tout the ratings this week and then wonder why they will drop big time next week.
Until Next Time,
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