Monday Night Raw: Live Reactions; 17 June, 2019
Happy Monday, and welcome to the Elias show! I take offense to these people booing my imaginary husband.
Well hello there, Mr. Rollins. Please stop beating Elias with that chair. It’s rude.
Seth is angry and fired up tonight, man. I kinda like it.
Wow, this show is on a roll tonight. Rollins barely hits the curtain and Miz pops up. I need that Mr. Miz shirt in my life. Meanwhile poor Elias is still struggling in the middle of the ring, and Miz takes the opportunity to give him a skull crushing finale. My poor Elias.
And now Bobby Lashley comes out and rams through Elias. What the hell.
Cesaro is out now, which means more beating on Elias. They’re claiming this is a fatal fiveway elimination match, but we know how that turned out last time, so.
Ricochet is next. I would like for him to not beat up Elias. He does, though.
Braun is next. Elias, just roll under the ring. You don’t need to get those hands. Aaaaand that’s how he died. Poor Elias.
We’re going to scrape him off the ring during the break. Five Way Elimination match is coming up next!
We’re back and this match is already going hard and fast. I cannot believe Cesaro just carried Braun. That man is a beast. Unfortunately, Braun eliminates Cesaro pretty quickly. Now Lashley is dominating but Braun is up on his feet and Lashley is on his back. Peace out, Bobby. We’ve got Braun, Miz, and Ricochet left.
I just realized Joe is at ringside. I apologize if this week’s reactions aren’t up to snuff. I spent seven and a half hours in a car today. My brain is fried. It kind of feels like Braun just barreled through it on the side of the ring. Which he just did to Miz and Ricochet.
Cesaro and Lashley are back and they’re laying into Braun. Cesaro is ridiculously strong. Ricochet hits the 630 and gets the pin with help from Cesaro and Lashley. Braun is pissed and now laying waste to everyone in his path. I’m pretty sure Cesaro just died.
We’re going to commercial while the refs sort out the rainbow carnage around the ring.
Back from break and Miz and Ricochet are going at it hard. I’m honestly impressed with Raw tonight. They cut the b.s. and went right for the action. These two are going through some awesome combos and I’m loving it. Miz gets the figure four on an injured knee of Ricochet, who is now squirming and fighting to get out of the hold.
Ricochet reverses the hold and Miz is struggling to break it. He reverses back to Ricochet, who gets the rope break. Joe looks as into this match as I am.
Miz is down and Ricochet hits his second 630 of the night, for the win! It’s going to be Ricochet Vs. Samoa Joe at stomping ground, for the US Title!
…but not before Joe gives him a taste of what he’s in for. Ricochet fights back and gets back in the ring to celebrate. I’m actually really looking forward to this match.
Seth Rollins is fighting…Daniel Bryan? tonight. I don’t…okay, then. Sure. Why not. We see DBry and Rowan making their way through the back, and Becky swaggering around as well, before the commercial break.
Back from break and we’re talking about Becky and Seth kissing on the red carpet at the MTV Movie awards. Which is totally unnecessary.
Becky hits the ring, looking fierce and gorgeous tonight. She’s got some words for Lacey. She calls her out, and now Lacey is strutting her way to the stage. This woman’s voice irritates the crap out of me. Becky calls her out for how obnoxious her voice is and I love her even more.
I can’t wait for this program to be over. Becky needs way better opponents than Lacey Evans. This woman is putting me to sleep. The crowd seems to be right there with me.
Becky has had enough and Lacey is on the mat. Thank you, Becks!
We pan to the back, where a well dressed Revival are making their way to Shane’s office. He’s hanging out with a fully clothed Drew McIntyre and a fancy spread of food.
Oh goody, it’s Baron. He announces he’ll be on a special edition of the KO and Sami show, but gets cut off by an out of control Seth Rollins and his new friend, Chair.
Oh em gee, it’s Viking Raiders! I love these guys. We’ll get them right after the break.
…or we won’t. Hi DBry. Go back to Smackdown and take your outcast Wyatt brother with you. He tells LA it sucks (which it kind of does, not gonna lie), and goes into one of his stupid rants.
The Viking Raiders have had enough. Thanks for the interruption, boys. Why the hell are they wrestling Indy jobbers?! We have like thirty unused tag teams on the roster. This is the stuff that enrages me.
Oh. My. God. Mella and Truth in costumes in the crowd. The #JOBSquad shows up and now Truth is under the ring hiding. They go under for him and…Titus gets dragged out instead? Is Hornswaggle still under there, too? Truth and Carmella take off into the crowd as everyone puzzles over how Truth turned into Titus.
KO and Sami prep in the back with Baron before making their way to the ring. I can’t hate Sami. He’s such a dork. We’ll be back right after these messages.
Back to Shane’s little clique meeting, and we’re joined by Heath Slater. We have no sound, so I’m not sure what’s happening. Oh there it is…but now Michael Cole is talking over it. Sounds like Heath is pulling the “I’ve got kids” deal again. He asks for a raise and Shane turns him down before kicking him out. Poor Heath.
Drew goes out after Heath…and pulls out a wad of cash, which he promptly drops. Heath goes to pick it up and Drew attacks him, not surprisingly. Revival and Shane come out to pull him off and take the money.
KO and Sami are in the ring starting the show. They introduce Corbin, and now he’s on the way to the ring. We get a replay of last week, and now it’s time for the ass kissing to begin. Sami begins with a rant about safety and withdraws his name from a choice for special ref. KO withdraws his “in solidarity”.
Baron claims he had a list a mile long to pick from for his special ref, and he introduces EC3. Seth is right behind him with Chair. Chair is the Seth Rollins version of Hunter and Sledgie. I think he’s gonna need a replacement soon.
WHAT IS THIS THE NEW DAY IS HERE TONIGHT WHAT WHAT WHAT!!
I assume this is going to end up being a six man tag, and I’m not mad about it. Big E covers EC3 with his vest, which apparently doubles as a blanket. Sami tells them to GTFO and Kofi basically tells him to go screw. KO tries to threaten Kofi and stumbles over his words. Woops.
Now Xavier and Big E are pulling a Weekend at Bernie’s with EC3 to make a six man tag. I assume an actual ref is coming out after the break.
Bullet Club reunion in the trainer’s room! Gallows and Anderson pop in to mess with AJ, and I’m loving this. The only thing that would make it better is if Finn showed up. AJ is railing into them now about needing to get serious. They’ve got a match against the Uso’s tonight, and they’re going to show us how serious they can be.
Back in the ring, we’ve got a legit ref in the ring for this six man tag. It’s also a two out of three falls match, which means it’s never going to end.
This match has been all Xavier and Sami so far. Xavier pulls off the first win on a total wing and a prayer before we go to another commercial break.
Things have broken down quickly in this match. I had to run out for a second and I have no idea who is legal, who got the second fall, or what day it is. Kofi is putting a beating on Baron, and gets the pin and the win for New Day. Of course, it doesn’t help that Sami and KO took off on him.
Big E strips in the ring as Baron sweats his way up the ramp.
It’s my favorite Odd Couple! Alexa has a present for Nikki, who is very excited about it. They’re having a title match against the IIconics tonight! Alexa is dropping some Bayley hate again. She also suggests Nikki try decaf next time which gets the appropriate response of …ew.
Paul Heyman is suiting up. Can’t wait to see what he has in store for us this week…after the break.
ECW chant as Paul climbs into the ring. That never gets old. Paul is stressed out about Seth and Chair. Ouch, he claims LA and Seth both gave away their balls. He also hints that maybe Brock will show up tonight to make moves on Seth during his match with DBry. Or maybe not. We’ll see.
Baron is in the back, trying to convince Eric Young to be the special Ref. Seth pops up and Eric immediately says he’s going to turn the offer down. Seth beats him anyway.
The Uso’s are being extra extra tonight. We got some fog, some cool lighting, and a super close up. They’ll be meeting Gallows and Anderson after the break.
It’ll be interesting to see which direction, if any, the writers take with these two. What I would love, and I know a lot of people agree with me, would be a Bullet Club reunion with Finn and AJ.
Anyway, this match has a fast pace and some decent back and forth. Anderson throws up the Too Sweet and tags in Gallows. They go for the Magic Killer but Jimmy gets a superkick, followed by a kick from Jey. The Uso’s pick up the win and AJ watches on in disappointment from the back.
Shane and his newest version of the Mean Street Posse are still partying in the back. Roman is lumbering around in a hallway, looking like he just rolled out of bed. We’ll find out more after yet another round of commercials.
We’re back and here comes the Big Dog. He looks both grumpy and confused as he climbs into the ring. Roman wants to whoop somebody’s ass tonight. He calls out Shane to face him one on one, which we know is never going to happen.
Shane comes on the TitanTron, asks Mike Rome for his entrance, and man that bruise on his arm is nasty. The New Mean Street Posse strokes his ego, and now Drew is cutting his usual promo.
Aw, damn. Drew brought Roman’s family into it and now he is PISSED. Roman storms out of the ring and is on his way to kick some ass. Revival tries to hold him off, which obviously doesn’t work, and Roman comes into the McMahon Lounge. He lays out Drew and he chases Shane right to the ring.
They brawl into the ring and Roman hits Shane with the stupidest move in the world, the Superman Punch. He hits a spear as Shane tries to get to his feet, and I’m pretty sure he’s dead like Cesaro and EC3 now. I actually kind of enjoy this side of Roman.
After the break, we get the women’s tag team championship match. Alexa and Nikki winning would be phenomenal.
Bayley is hanging in the back with Naomi and Natty when Charlie pops in to ask about Alexa’s accusation against her. Bayley is off to “take care of her”.
The IIconics are out and I’m now muting my TV. Geez, even these two are bashing the Lakers and LeBron? Ouch.
Luckily, Nikki interrupts their nonsense. Alexa joins her and they make their way to the ring. Looks like Alexa almost tripped on a wire.
Bayley comes out just in time for another ad break.
The match kicks off and holy crap, the screeching from the IIconics is enough to make me want to punch a baby. They take turns on Nikki, while Alexa looks precious on the apron. Alexa gets knocked off the apron and takes a shot at Bayley while Nikki gets pinned in the ring. The IIconics taunt Bayley with the tag belts on their way by, and Alexa gets in the ring to comfort Nikki.
A new Firefly Funhouse after the break! Allegedly, Bray Wyatt is at Raw tonight. Maybe we’ll get an up close and personal look at his new gimmick.
Alexa and Nikki are in the back, and Nikki has just jumped on the Bayley Bashing Bandwagon.
Here it comes, Firefly Funhouse!
….holy crap that was nightmare fuel. I love it.
And then it gets ruined by DBry and his rants. I hope Seth beats him with Chair.
Speaking of, Seth is in the hallway with Chair. Becky passes by and they make eyes before going in opposite directions, Becky looking back to stare at his ass. More ads.
Back again. DBry makes his entrance, and now Seth makes his way to the ring with Chair. We get a replay of all his beatings tonight, and Seth seems pleased with himself. He’s looking at Chair the way Hunter used to look at Sledgie. DBry looks unimpressed.
…Cole just called Rowan a Redwood.
We’ve got some good back and forth in this match, but Rowan the Redwood gets involved, giving Seth the win.
New Day comes out to defend Rollins, but now KO and Sami are out with The Revival and the Uso’s don’t want to be left out. The faces lay out the heels, and now the refs are out to try and break this nonsense up.
Meanwhile, DBry and Rollins are still in the ring, half dead. We get an announcement that the match will continue, and everyone is banned from ringside. Match will continue after the break.
We’re back and DBry is currently dominating. Seth is wobbling on his feet, but Daniel isn’t much better off. They both get a burst of energy, and then they’re back on the mat again.
They’re hit for hit now on their second wind. Rollins goes for the pin but gets a two count. He’s calling for the stomp now, but Daniel reverses and they go through a decent pin combo.
Daniel gets the ankle lock in and Rollins fights to get free. Daniel turns it into a beautiful German Suplex. Seth rolls out of the ring and Daniel gets a running knee off the apron.
Some more back and forth and Rollins gets the superplex, but DBry escapes the Falcon Arrow. He’s got the Lebell Lock in, but Rollins manages to get a foot on the rope.
Rollins somehow manages to get a bucklebomb and a two count. He’s favoring his left shoulder, goes for the frog splash, but DBry gets the Lebell Lock back in. Rollins fights out and gets the stomp.
The W goes to Rollins, and I’m hoping that shoulder is one hell of a sell, because we don’t need him out with an injury. He also appears to have a bloody nose. What’s up with all the blood lately?
Baron meets Seth at the top of the ring with a chair of his own. He’s pretty much knocked him senseless and the ref looks concerned. Baron hits the end of days and calls for the belt. I don’t like the look of him with that title in hand.
And that’s all she wrote, folks. Don’t forget to give me a follow on Twitter, @MickMess912 and my wordpress, Mick with the Opinions.