WWE RAW Review 5.20.19: Oh Great Brock Is Back
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman come out. Lesnar has that “fuck you I’m making a shit ton of money” smile on his face. Heyman talks about Rollins and Kofi being vulnerable because of Lesnar now. I mean hell, Lesnar barely shows up as it is so at this point both of them are likely to not be Champs when he does. Heyman is rambling and the crowd just does not care. Maybe everyone is over his act too.
Seth Rollins decides to come out. Rollins should get Lesnar to cash in by talking about Lesnar being a steroid cheat. That would really piss him off. Rollins says that he is trying to be the Champ that Lesnar could never be. Rollins wants Lesnar to cash in tonight, but obviously, that isn’t going to happen. Heyman says Rollins has to wait, just like he did at Wrestlemania to see his girlfriend main event the show he always wanted to main event.
Heyman tells Rollins that maybe Lesnar wants to cash in on Kofi Kingston, so out comes Kofi because Wild Card rule. Kofi says if Brock wants to cash in tonight, he should cash in on him. So these guys are begging Brock to cash in on them? How dumb do they want to make their Champs look? Heyman said he heard Rollins and Kofi aren’t done tonight. And Brock will be sticking around. So basically: PLEASE STAY AND WATCH THE SHOW PRETTY PLEASE!!!
To follow up on that, Triple H tells Kofi and Seth that they will be in the main event against Lashley and Corbin. HAHAHA. So you beg us to stay at the end of that Paul Heyman promo then follow it up by telling us that Baron Corbin will be in the main event.
Sami Zayn vs Braun Strowman So Sami runs to the back for, basketball reasons? Lashley is there and does nothing. Then they go back to the ring and Strowman squashes Sami.
Oh good a Lars Sullivan promo. They will let this guy do anything but wrestle a match huh? Thankfully, the Lucha House Party comes out before he can speak. They get the upper hand early but eventually Lars scares them off? They just back away. And the crowd is still silent FYI.
Ricochet vs Cesaro. I don’t know who did it, but whoever put the athletic tape on Ricochet’s back did an awful job. Cesaro goes after the back of Ricochet to start, slamming him on the apron. We get back from commercial and Ricochet jumps off Cesaro’s shoulders. Then we get a Secret Life of Pets 2 ad in the middle of Ricochet’s comeback. And it doesn’t matter, because Ricochet eats an uppercut then a Neutralizer for the win. Did they even get 5 minutes? They are trying to sell Ricochet being injured for losing but I doubt there’s any follow up to that.
Baron Corbin interrupts AJ Styles backstage. Because what this world needs is more Baron Corbin segments. They insult each other and Styles slaps Corbin.
Roman Reigns comes out. Okay seriously, why not just rename it the “Roman Reigns and 2 Other Guys Show Up” Rule. Before Roman can even speak Shane McMahon comes out. Shane says Roman is a coward for hitting his father like he did and how can anyone ever hit a man like that? Geez Shane, let me count the times you did that. Roman wants to fight Shane tonight. Shane asks the audience, but guess what? He doesn’t care what the audience thinks. Shocker! Shane brings out Drew McIntyre. Oh good, we are doing this match again. Shane says that he will fight Roman at Super Showdown. Boy they are really giving us a reason to watch that show huh? Wait why did Drew come out?
The Usos vs The Revival. The Revival gets the better of the Usos before the bell. For a second I thought this was leading to the beatdown I had in my Alternate WWE Universe column a few weeks ago. The Usos got the upper hand before break but back from break it is all Revival. I hate that. We end up getting a decent last couple minutes with the Revival winning after Dawson grabs the tights.
Firefly Fun House with just a creepy video with kids and Bray telling us to let him in.
Alexa Bliss is out with Nikki Cross for A Moment of Bliss. Out comes Becky. She’s then interrupted by the IIconics, who make fun of Becky for losing. Then Lacey Evans, who said she’s the reason Becky lost. This all leads to the three of them challenging Becky. Nikki agrees to be her partner. Becky says they’ll take Alexa too. She can just stand there and look pretty. I think that is all Alexa can do at this point.
Alexa is on the outside of the ring drinking coffee while Becky and Nikki do all the work. The IIconics distract Nikki to take the advantage. Nikki finally moves out of the way of a charge and makes the hot tag to Becky. Lacey walks away rather than get close to Becky in the ring. Becky wins with a leg drop off the top rope, brother.
Mick Foley is out with a new Title. He pretty much teases the hardcore title, but instead introduces a 24/7 Title. Which gets no reaction, and it looks like shit. And it is only defended in the 3rd hour of RAW. So once again it is basically a “Please Stay for the 3rd Hour of RAW” Title. Then out come the jobbers. Its like an Andre the Giant Battle Royal out here. Titus O’Neil takes the Title to win? Then Robert Roode comes out and rolls up Titus on stage to win the Title. So great, we get this every week now.
We get Miz vs Drew McIntyre. I’m sorry but I’m still laughing about that 24/7 Title. It is tough for me to concentrate. If you could put together a paint by the numbers RAW match this would be it. Miz applies an awful Figure Four yet again. Miz chases Shane like a geek then eats a Claymore Kick coming back into the ring and Drew gets the win. Roman makes the save after.
Rey Mysterio apparently has a separated shoulder and we will find out the fate of the US Title next week.
R-Truth hides Robert Roode in his car, but then takes him out and pins him for the 24/7 Title.
Main Event Time. Another Baron Corbin main event. Lets see if I can stay awake. This is apparently now No DQ. Corbin jumps Rollins on the way to the ring. If it is No DQ why are these guys even standing on the apron? Who would stop them? Corbin buries Seth Rollins under a bunch of office chairs. We have six minutes left so I bet Brock isn’t coming out to cash in. Seth then comes back with a chair to take out Corbin and Lashley. The Champs take out the heels on the outside with their respective dives. Kofi then pins Corbin with Trouble in Paradise for the win. After the match Lashley spears both men. Brock comes out and teases a cash in, but doesn’t. I could have bet my mortgage that I don’t have on that.
More stupidity from the WWE in a time when they can’t afford it.
Until Next Time,
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