WWE Raw Review 8.21.17 – with Heather


After last night’s Summerslam, that yours truly attended, there are many questions to be answered!

Will we get a new #1 Contender for REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED STILL UNIVERSAL CHAMPION Brock Lesnar, or is he peacing out til the New Year?

Has Alexa Bliss stopped throwing a tantrum about her loss last night?

Can Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins continue to co-exist even with the probably very angry former Champs SheaSaro nipping at their heels?

Will we get to walk with The Drifter?

Does anybody care about Jason Jordan?

And…wait a minute…THAT’S JOHN CENA’S MUSIC!

TONIGHT: On MONDAY NIGHT RAW!…and in short form in this review

I genuinely enjoyed myself last night at Summerslam.  You’ll have to excuse me for my brevity tonight as I drove 8 hours home and am half coherent watching Raw and we all know how tough that can sometimes be.  I had some issues with matches last night, but they mostly revolved around the Smackdown matches so I can let one of my colleagues handle that.  I thought the Raw side mostly delivered and I loved a ton.  Maybe would have liked to see a Universal Title change but I didn’t expect it.  Let’s see where it all leads tonight!

We start out with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  The crowd is hot and Heyman is gleeful after Brock’s victory last night.  He talks up how Brock was carted off the battlefield but still returned, laughing in the face of medical attention.  He gets a big reaction when he mentions that it was Roman Reigns Brock pinned.  He says nobody can beat Brock in UFC or WWE.  He could go find out….  BRAUN is out to get in Lesnar’s face.  Lesnar says he’s the champ and deflects BRAUN’s attack at first, but it’s The Monster Among Men who stands tall after a big kick to the face and two running power slams.  He holds the belt up to YES! chants.  YES! indeed.

Street Fight: Big Cass vs Enzo Amore

Well guys this is still happening.  I’m sure it was meant to be a squash for Cass as it has been anytime these guys are even near each other.  Unfortunately, as much as I dislike this angle and am not a big fan of either guy, Cass seems to be legitimately injured after his knee buckles while going for an elbow drop.  Ref throws up the X.  Seems real.  And Enzo gets a win, kind of.

Winner: Enzo Amore (Due to ref stoppage)

Backstage Emma is griping about how she isn’t given a real chance but Dana Brooke is with her and says that Emma tapped out when given her shot.  Emma says Dana needs to learn and should watch her match with Nia Jax later to do so.  Nia of course over hears and says she’ll start an #EmmaNeedsCPR hashtag.  Whatever.

EVIL Emma vs Nia Jax

It’s a squash.  Emma gets a nice slap and a dropkick but it’s an under two minute squash.

Winner: Nia Jax

Elias vs R Truth

Apparently I have’t noticed that Elias is just Elias now.  I think he’s great and the crowd last night was hot for me.  Not too bad tonight either.  He tries to shut down the fans by telling them not to clap and it doesn’t really work.  Then he fights R Truth.  And thats a squash too.

Winner: Elias

Kurt Angle is out next to saying he promised a surprise and here it is….John Cena….Oh yeah, he’s a free agent.

Quick recap: Cena says Angle invited him here and he came not because Smackdown is bad but because he wants to face one specific superstar – out comes Roman Reigns.  Reigns asks if Cena’s going to keep talking as the fans LOUDLY chant for Undertaker.  Cena acknowledges it but then says he isn’t there to talk and drops his microphone.  Before anything happens Miz’s music hits.  Miz cuts a MONEY promo talking about how Angle is trying to bring in New Superstars when his Intercontinental Champion is relegated to the preshow.  Miz says he deserves the main event and he’s earned it after 12 years.  Fans chant “You Deserve it” and Cena says he deserves a shot.  He tries to set up a match between he and Reigns vs Miz and Bo or Axel.  Miz says no because that’d be a Cena moment and he’s in a three piece suit.  He goes to leave and…

Samoa Joe shows up.  He says Bo Dallas nor Curtis Axel will be Miz’s partner tonight.  He will be.  Joe says he owns Reigns one on one, but then he attacks Cena.  Cena goes for an AA but Joe gets the Coquina Clutch locked on.  Reigns makes the save and the fans chant “You Both Suck” as the two heels stand tall.

Gran Metalik & Mustafa Ali & Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann vs Tony Nese & Noam Dar & Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari

Well this match comes out of nowhere.  It’s a pretty good match but with absolutely no build or any thought put into the Cruisers the fans just do the wave.  I think it’s totally disrespectful as at least these guys are getting to show off what they can do and shitting on them just makes Vince think they’re untalented monsters.  Gran Metalik has gotten NO time on Raw and he had a decent showing in this match.  Noam Dar had a great moment where he refused a tag, but really that just didn’t get him any time to show off in the ring.  This match really seemed to be to put Cedric Alexander over as he get the win with the Double knees to the back.  Also Booker could not stop talking about him during it, and while it’s not wise to trust Booker, I’m sure it was for a reason.

Winners: The Face team (Alexander, Metalik, Ali & Swann)

Chuck Caruso is backstage with Neville who starts to complain about former champ Tozawa and his…Associate?  Titus O’Neil who shows up with Tozawa to say they want their rematch tomorrow night on 205 LIVE.  I hope it makes people want to tune in.  I did enjoy their Cruiserweight match on the Pre Show.

Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose are out to talk about their victory last night.  They are both happy to be here together in the ring with the titles.  Dean says he slept with the title.  Seth says he wondered if it would ever happen again after his betrayal three years ago but now they’re here to celebrate.  They say SheaSaro will probably want their rematch eventually but of course they’ll take on all comers.

The Hardy Boyz come out…sigh…and they tease the crowd with some Broken laughs and choice language.  Seth subtly calls them old by saying he and Dean idolized them as children, but as the crowd chanted obsolete, Matt talked about how they revolutionized the tag division for nearly a quarter of a century.  They wanna continue to do that tonight.  Seth accepts for them both and it is happening.

Non Title Match: Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose vs The Hardy Boyz

I am very honest about my feelings for the Hardyz and they are not happy.  I like Matt, I like the Broken Matt stuff but they just really have never been so over with me.  However this was a really good match.  I am not so good with going over the match move by move because I try to watch and enjoy and also I easily forget what just happened and have no DVR to go back and watch again.  Both teams look strong and it’s a straight forward tag team match.  I expected to see a run in from the former champs but we don’t get it.  Rollins & Ambrose get the win when Seth hits the Kingslayer knee and then Dean hits the Dirty Deeds on Jeff Hardy.  Great match with a solid clean finish for the new champs.  Good.  They should be able to work well together and a loss would hurt them already.

Winners: Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose

Backstage Samoa Joe is sitting with the Miztourage standing over him as Miz is giddy that Joe has decided to join them all on his own without Miz even having to have multiple conversations like he did with the other two.  Joe says he’s not joining him.  Bo and Curtis should stay on the outside and Miz should do his unorthodox thing in the ring and let him do what he does.  It’s a fun segment.

Sasha Banks is out next and I miss a lot of this segment unfortunately.  The jist is Sasha says she left her heart in Brooklyn these past three years.  She gives a shout out to Ric Flair.  She says she’ll defend her championship the right way.  Alexa Bliss comes out to get in her face and says that every time Banks defended the title after she won it she lost.  Banks fires back that Alexa has either run away from her or tapped every time they have fought.  She tells her to use her rematch clause right now but Alexa says the Brooklyn crowd doesn’t deserve her celebration.  She wants it next week.

Jason Jordan vs Finn Balor

This was set up earlier when Jordan asked his daddy Kurt Angle for this match to prove himself.  Kurt gave it to him for some reason so here it goes. The crowd does not care about Jordan.  He is a decent wrestler and if they’re going to push him into these matches to try and get Kurt to give him special favors I can be down with where that storyline leads.  I thought this would be a squash match but it’s surprisingly not.  Michael Cole calls it a “Classic Match Up” and it is also not that.  During the match some morons bring a beach ball back into it and the crowd gets caught up in that and I get caught up in irrepressible anger.  You are not wrestling fans if you do shit like this.  You’re just not.  If you hate Jason Jordan fine but Finn is fantastic and if you don’t like it then just sit on your hands.  This took me out of the whole thing I got so hot.  DON’T GET HOT.  But I did.  Finn wins.

Winner: Finn Balor

Samoa Joe & The Miz (w/ The Miztourage) vs John Cena and Roman Reigns

THis match is inundated with Beach Ball chants as well and as much as I understand being bored with the direction of the Roman Reigns character and John Cena’s continued dominance – it is ridiculous.  The Miz and Samoa Joe do deserve their time in the spotlight and doing things like this make it worse for them.  Not just those guys you hate so much.  The wave too.  This crowd is garbage.  It was nothing like this last night and I am so glad because I would have been furious.  Going into business for themselves.  This is WWE’s fault too for having the show in the same town four nights in a row.  I’m furious and everyone watching should be too.  You pay to go to a show and shit all over it for your own benefit, then complain about the product.  I apologize if you actually read this and want to know the match but I’m just watching furious that these guys are working their asses off to get a reaction and to do their best work in an actual NEW match up and this is what the crowd does.  Fuck them.  If you’re part of it Fuck You.  Quit watching wrestling.  Never go again.  You don’t deserve anything fun because you’re absolute garbage.  Even if I was there I’d feel like the crowd didn’t deserve it.  The match is fine but ruined by the crowd.  Oh.  And Cena winning.  The whole purpose is him trying to get Roman over and of course it doesn’t work.  Roman superman punches Cena and they still win.

Winners: John Cena & Roman Reigns.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Kind of a lackluster Raw after what I thought was a strong Summerslam.  Just bringing Cena in isn’t enough to make it interesting for me and I doubt it works for many others.  The crowd ruined the whole thing going into business for themselves.  I get being annoyed with the product but if you’re really a fan you won’t shit on these performers you then go online and say you love and deserve time.  It is absolute garbage.  The problem is that WWE has set up these after big PPV shows to present to them something BIG and Cena & Reigns isn’t going to work for this crowd.  They wanted something else and didn’t get it and threw a tantrum.  Either WWE has to give it to them or they need to get the fuck out of dodge after these events so the crowd isn’t the leftover assholes from the weekend who are still trying to get themselves over.  This was not a good follow up to a Summerslam I enjoyed.  Damn.

WATCH THIS MATCH: Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose vs The Hardy Boyz There are some obvious spots where Jeff looks winded or sloppy but that’s to be expected from any Hardy match I suppose.  Seth and Dean are hot as a tag team and the crowd was into both teams making the atmosphere a lot better.  They kept SheaSaro away possibly to make sure nobody brings another beach ball just so Cesaro could destroy another one.  The right team went over clean and both competitors looked strong.  Seth & Dean can just go on through the tag division now until The Revival are finally good to go.

SKIP THIS MATCH:  Nia Jax vs EVIL Emma or R Truth vs Elias.  Or both. they are just squashes.

I’m at HM_Pufnstuf.  Rot in hell Beach Ballers.